We ask to look past life as it goes by

May 21st. By all accounts, this should be birthday week.

I am known for loving my birthday. Maybe it's only child syndrome or something, but I think that birthdays should be celebrated intensely, that the person who did nothing more than come into the world but yet managed to make it this far should be treated like royalty for a few days.

But for some reason I can't bring myself to get excited about this birthday. Once again, Memorial Day weekend has thwarted me, and many will be out of town. I'm not going anywhere, which is strange for birthday weekend. And I'm not really in want of anything, so for once in my life, presents are of no significance.

I think what it is even more than these things, though, is that I'm just tired of celebrating myself. This year has been rough, both emotionally and physically, and I've had to rely on people more than ever. I haven't had the strength to reach out and to give to others, to celebrate them, to help them when they needed it. As much as I like it when people pay attention to me, and I definitely appreciate all that everyone has done to help me, I think I've finally reached a point where I can say that I just don't want it to be about me anymore.

So, in all likelihood, it won't be. I'm having a small get-together at the Central American restaurant I like. That's a nod to ME because of my love for Centro. But Saturday is Farmer's Market gig and co-op stuff at the Bayou Bugaloo and then Sunday is church and potluck and Monday I'll probably just sleep and cook.

27...I hope that this feeling is just an oddity and that I really won't end up sounding so tired and so resigned to being more of an adult than a child.

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Now playing: Our Lady Peace - Will The Future Blame Us
via FoxyTunes