On Endometriosis

Is it summer that keeps us from posting? I've noticed that none of my frequently read blogs have been updated in the past few weeks. Understandable, I guess. Summer is filled with sporting events and beach trips and weddings and time spent watching the sunset.

My summer involves fresh beans overtaking the deck. Watching the tomatoes ripen. Buying raw milk. Waiting for the blackberries. It's the foodie in me.

Then there's also the part of me that is finally realizing that it's time to face that I have a chronic illness. When I was first diagnosed with endometriosis, I didn't think much of it. Scar tissue in the womb? How bad can that be? I had surgery to remove it. I took shots. And yet I'm still in pain--some of the most desperate pain imaginable, that renders me near helpless for a couple days per month. It exhausts me and makes it difficult to concentrate.

The hardest part is, there's not really a cure. Spell check isn't even sure what to do with the word. People hear about it and just brush it off, because most people think--based on others, or themselves, who have had it--that it's just a slightly worse version of PMS. My doctor did not let me know that the surgery might not work, or give me an idea of what might happen after the shots. It's more or less throwing spaghetti at a wall and hoping that it sticks.

So now that I'm no longer living in denial, I'm trying to find ways to combat this illness. I'm finding natural ways to reduce inflammation. Trying to add more iron to my diet. Strengthening my muscles, but being able to cut out cardio when I'm in pain. And the hardest one...learning how to say no when I'm exhausted. That's the most difficult. I want to follow through on commitments. I want to spend time with my friends. When you don't have a visible malady, or even really the means to explain your chronic condition, it's hard to explain why you need to bail. And try attempting to explain an illness involving your reproductive system to your mostly male circle of friends!

Acceptance is hard. It's definitely a process. But I'm getting there.