Back to Basics (Creating an Endometriosis Diet)

As you might have noticed, there have not been many posts around here recently (nor have there been many cookies). As much as I've been wanting to write, and wanting to cook, and wanting to be healthy, I've once again been bogged down by health issues.

But I think I may have found what has been causing the fatigue, the nausea, the bloating, the general unease: The pill that was prescribed to help me overcome the fatigue, the pain, and the general unease of endometriosis. Because I began taking this pill before a vacation in San Francisco, and then went on to have wisdom teeth troubles and a respitory infection, I didn't connect these symptoms to the prescription. Now that I have, it seems pretty clear: once again, this illness is not going to be treated by a prescription, because the cure is almost as bad as the disease.

So it's time to return to the process of reinventing my eating habits. I'm trying to create my own endometriosis diet, as many of the ones I've found have been fraught with contraditions and sometimes outright bullshit. In one breath they tell you to eat tofu, in the next they say soy makes the inflammation worse. They recommend not eating red meat, but most women with endo are borderline-anemic. So I'll find my own way, starting again with the process I was building a few months back:

Whole grains (homebaked bread, brown rice, quinoa, flax seeds, etc)
Green vegetables
Meat (included in at least two meals; odd for a former vegetarian)
Fat (butter, olive oil, coconut oil, drippings)
Fish (balancing out the omega 3s and omega 6s)
Raw milk and raw cheese, but not too much
Anything with anti-inflamatory properties

This list can look scary for people who don't have much familarity with alternative approaches to food. Particularly the part about fats. Aren't we supposed to cut out as much fat as possible? Well, we'll get to that.

I'll try this for the next couple months, eating as close to Michael Pollan's command of "don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food" as possible. At the first of the year, if I'm still experiencing the crippling pains and intense fatigue of endo, I'll set about removing elements from my diet. But until then, the wheat stays.

On Endometriosis

Is it summer that keeps us from posting? I've noticed that none of my frequently read blogs have been updated in the past few weeks. Understandable, I guess. Summer is filled with sporting events and beach trips and weddings and time spent watching the sunset.

My summer involves fresh beans overtaking the deck. Watching the tomatoes ripen. Buying raw milk. Waiting for the blackberries. It's the foodie in me.

Then there's also the part of me that is finally realizing that it's time to face that I have a chronic illness. When I was first diagnosed with endometriosis, I didn't think much of it. Scar tissue in the womb? How bad can that be? I had surgery to remove it. I took shots. And yet I'm still in pain--some of the most desperate pain imaginable, that renders me near helpless for a couple days per month. It exhausts me and makes it difficult to concentrate.

The hardest part is, there's not really a cure. Spell check isn't even sure what to do with the word. People hear about it and just brush it off, because most people think--based on others, or themselves, who have had it--that it's just a slightly worse version of PMS. My doctor did not let me know that the surgery might not work, or give me an idea of what might happen after the shots. It's more or less throwing spaghetti at a wall and hoping that it sticks.

So now that I'm no longer living in denial, I'm trying to find ways to combat this illness. I'm finding natural ways to reduce inflammation. Trying to add more iron to my diet. Strengthening my muscles, but being able to cut out cardio when I'm in pain. And the hardest one...learning how to say no when I'm exhausted. That's the most difficult. I want to follow through on commitments. I want to spend time with my friends. When you don't have a visible malady, or even really the means to explain your chronic condition, it's hard to explain why you need to bail. And try attempting to explain an illness involving your reproductive system to your mostly male circle of friends!

Acceptance is hard. It's definitely a process. But I'm getting there.

Life Won't Wait for Me to Get Back on Both My Feet Again

It's been eight days without coffee, and the withdrawl symptoms are finally easing up. I honestly had no idea how difficult it would be. I more or less needed to isolate myself for a few days as to not inflict others with my horrible mood.

It's a long road back from hell...

I realize endometriosis is not the worst disease one could have. It's not a killer. It doesn't require chemotherapy. Yet it is one of the most frustrating illnesses, made even more so by doctors who do not acknowledge just how little they know about it. They do not know the reasons for its occurrence. They don't know why some women are more affected than others. And they do not know why the manipulation of hormones works for some and does not work for others.

Currently I am reading The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, which is about a Hmong girl with epilepsy, and the struggles between the medical community and the family. The Hmong, like many other cultures, believe in the wholeness of body and spirit, and do not try to isolate the two when treating illness. It makes me realize, more and more, how little my doctors have examined anything other than a narrow section of my insides--and how quickly they were willing to prescribe surgery, and then mess around with my hormones. Yes, I was in a ton of pain, and ready to do almost anything to alleviate it. But when the shots stopped working, why did we not talk about other methods for treating endo? Why have the simplest treatments--exercise, change in diet--not even been mentioned?

I do not know yet if it is the lack of caffeine that is causing a reduction in pain. My pain has not been constant since the surgery. It could be the lack of caffeine, or it could be just a painless point in the cycle. But the two seem correlated. So another week, and then I will reintroduce the caffeine, but keep it limited to two cups. Perhaps if I had been willing to learn more about my illness, it would have made sense to fiddle with my diet-- estrogen found in caffeine can cause more pain, or the fact that certain foods have inflammatory properties, and they should be limited. But I wanted a fast fix, and so did the doctors.

If it's not too late for coffee...

And so today truly begins the experiment. Today there will be no caffeine. For the last three days I've had but one cup of coffee in the morning. Finally by yesterday afternoon I thought I was ok--I did not have a giant haze around my head. Yet I fell asleep at 9pm. Of course, this meant I am up at 5:30am, and what is there to do at that hour if you can't see through the fog surrounding your thoughts?

After further research, it appears that caffeine is not the greatest trigger of endometriosis pains. But after the past few days, I've realized just how much I depend on caffeination. Provided I can get through the next two non-work days, the experiment will continue until November. And then it is likely I will return to the wonder that is a cup of coffee. But it will be limited to the recommended two cups of caffeine.

Because let me tell you, a mug of caramel honeybush or whatever is in my enamel teacup this morning is just not cutting it. I'm ready to crawl in bed for the rest of the morning, but I promised a I would go help prepare brunch for a group of visitors. Brunch without coffee. I don't even want to think about it.

But this helps.

I need caffeine in my bloodstream

Today.
October 15th, 2008.
Began an experiment I never imagined would happen in the gracefullypunk world.
For today I began the process of weaning myself off caffeine.

Recently the pain has returned, sharp pains in my lower right abdomen as well as searing pains throughout the midsection. At first I buried my head--all treatments are not over, so perhaps I just need to wait another month? But then I started researching, and discovered that hormonal treatments do not work on all endometriosis sufferers.

At first I freaked out, as I fit all characteristics of someone who should be considering a hysterectomy. Turns out that I don't want to travel this route just yet. So I started researching what might be causing the pain to increase. And the first factor I landed upon was caffeine.

Over the past month or so, my tea consumption--particularly black tea, but also green--has increased by at least one and often 2-3 cups per day. Such is a by-product of dating an Englishman I suppose...even if he's not right here the constant references to tea implanted themselves in my brain and got me hooked. Can I say definitely that this is what has increased my pain? Of course not. But it's worth a shot.

So today I cut back from 2.5 cups of coffee to 1.25. Tomorrow it will be just a cup (but made with less beans) as will Friday. Saturday will be caffeineless. And no midday jolts, either.

I suppose I should be glad that I'm doing this. After all, I know I am dependent. I'm foggy right now, and cranky, and wondering where my bed is. I didn't realize how reliant upon caffeine I am until today. But at the same time, coffee is a part of my lifestyle. I love its tastes, I love its complexities, I love the people who grow it. I'm seriously considering building my masters work upon coffee. How can I give it up?

But it's two weeks. And Graham is doing it with me (I guess it's good we're not in the same place or he might run in fear at the realities of Kirsten without caffeine). I can survive two weeks. And if it makes a difference, I will re-introduce caffeine, as studies have said that two cups is ok. Still, this is going to be a long two weeks.



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Now playing: Cobra Starship - Guilty Pleasure
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: Cobra Starship - Guilty Pleasure
via FoxyTunes